Maturity

I heard today that

"Maturity is going from having soft skin and a hard heart to having tough skin and a soft heart."

I like that.

New Post

I know I've been slacking lately as a blogger, but I go in spurts with my creative expression, and lately my spurt has been visual art. I've been trying new techniques in my art journal and even doing some painting.

I used to dream about being really good at something, an expert in my field. but I never could quite find the field to stick with long enough to get good at it. Now that I'm knocking on 40's door, I figure i'll just always go from one spurt to the next, wherever my muse and whims take me, and just try to enjoy it, rather than put the pressure on myself to be good at it. I say "try," because it is in my nature to want to succeed in whatever I do, but enjoying the process, I believe, brings more joy.

God has been showing me lately that fulfillment is in simplicity; and significance is in Him.

I love to complicate; and I love to feel significant in the eyes of others. At least I do on the surface. But there's no true contentment there. It's never enough. And I'm learning to settle into this life He has for me and be content.

Latest Piece of Art

"Tall Poppy"
5'x5' oil pastel on wood panels

It's Not About You

"You don't need to find yourself, you need to lose yourself. You need to have something that transcends yourself in order to make your life meaningful. And that's impossible if you're constantly referring to yourself as the be-all and end-all of your existence." -RC Sproul

"It is a poor centre of a man's actions, himself." -Francis Bacon

I think these fellas are on to something -- even if one of them wears a funky collar.

What do you think?

Eliza's Latest Artwork

The alligator is happy.

Here We Go!

Then I saw another bumper sticker that said:

"Get in, Sit down, Shut up and Hang on."

Loved it.

Truth

I saw a bumper sticker this weekend that said,
"Isn't it amazing that in the age of information it is so hard to find truth?"

The truth is so simple and so beautiful, but we, as a culture, are buying lie upon lie.

We say that each person has his own truth. What the hell is that?

Is there no right or wrong? Did humankind bubble up from the ooze and we are just
here to survive? May the fittest win?

If there is no absolute truth, then what's the point? Where is the hope?

But I know Truth himself. Hallelujah!

New Collages

Flower Fairies

The girls and I spent the afternoon creating and playing fairies inthe front yard flower garden. I'm glad I thought to grab the camera. Here are a few shots!

This is the entire fairy clan!

Eliza poses with some of our fairy family.

This one is Dew Drop.

This is Flora, made by Caroline.

This is Finn. I made him.

Take a Chance

Are you wanting to pursue a dream? Or change your lifestyle in some way?
"There's no chance unless you take one!" (It's a line from a theme show of a TV show my girls like to watch...but good, no?)

You have no chance in getting what you're after unless you are willing ot take a chance, to risk something, to make a sacrifice, or to experience a little discomfort.

What are you willing to give in order to get what you want? What's your plan?

Someone once said, "A dream without a plan remains a dream."

Determine what you really want. What really gives you joy? Then make a plan to get it, and decide what you are willing to give for it. Never think or speak negatively about it; your words are powerful. Stay focused. Pray and believe.

Take a chance!

New Journal Page

Be Yourself

“If I am not myself then who will be me?”

Hillel the Elder
Jewish Leader 110 BC – 10 AD

Overwhelm

Probably the most common feeling I see in my coaching practice is overwhelm.

We almost constantly face decisions, fears, doubts, anger, interference, distractions, aggravations.....

Some clients are helped by prioritizing. (First Things First!)

Others need to take fast action, so they feel in control. (Lord grant me...the courage to change the things I can...)

When the quality and quantity of the issues you are dealing with become paralyzing, are you willing to take the time to prioritize? Ask yourself, "What really matters? And for how long?"

Are you ready to take on the parts of the issue you can control? Will you make a plan? And remember, you can not control another person.

Can you accept the things you cannot control? Can you be flexible? Can you trust? Can you give yourself the gift of releasing unnecessary burdens?

I think you can.

Christianity

All other religions of the world require you to "do, do, do."

Christianity says, "It's done."

(paraphrased from J. Vernon McGee in Thru the Bible)

Caroline, the Gymnast

This is Caroline. She has worked very hard in gymnastics and recently got moved up to Level 3.
This means that we will be traveling around the northwest this fall and winter for meets.
Way to go, Caroline!

Misconceptions Can Hinder Progress

I recently coached a client whose goal is to meet her life partner and eventually get married and have a family. She was struggling with the dating scene and feels like she is getting nowhere.

As we continued our session about the issue, she realized -- much to her surprise -- that she had spent an awful lot of time and energy lumping all men into one category, making generalizations about them that were distorted.

"Well, men where I live are so non-committal," she said.

"I am very driven and that turns men away from me," she told me.

And these were just a few of the generalizations she was making.

After a few coaching sessions, she began to speak the truth to herself, to open her heart and make room for Mr. Right, expecting him come along at any time. She began to accept herself and understand that there are many men who would appreciate her qualities and want to share a life with her.

Are there places in your life where you are generalizing, distorting or deleting reality? Ask yourself:

Where did these ideas came from?
What is the evidence that they are true?
What if they are not true?
What would happen if I began to think otherwise?

You can live your best life. I know you can. And if you need a little help getting there, consider life coaching. I mean, who couldn't use a little encouragement and a good ear now and again?

Autobiographical Poem by Caroline

My hair is like a ponies tail or mane
That is rough, but smooth.
My ears are like fairy ears, and elf ears
Because they are very pointy.
My eyes are a cool shade of greenish, blueish, brownish color,
Like the ocean in sunlight.
My legs are really muscular like a gynast in the olympics.
I live in a world full of imaganation and exploration
And eat ramon noodles all the time.

The Times, They are A-Changin'

Come gather round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.


Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance wont come again
And dont speak too soon
For the wheels still in spin
And theres no tellin who
That its namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.


Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Dont stand in the doorway
Dont block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
Theres a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
Itll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.


Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And dont criticize
What you cant understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you cant lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.


The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.


~Bob Dylan

Soul Arts Sign

I just got the sign put up at my awesome location in Reeder's Alley.

What do ya think?

Life Coaching

Celebrate your You-ness!

Live from the core of your being and live your best life!

As a certified professional life coach, I am here to help you get focused on what it is you really want for your life, and then discover the steps to accomplish your goals, despite all the obstacles.

Deep down you know who you are, and you know what you want. But sometimes obligations and responsibilities and expectations – and any number of other roadblocks and rabbit trails – cause us to get stuck or lost. Life coaching can help you find your way again by mining inside you for your answers.

A life coach is not a counselor or a therapist. A life coach never gives advice. As a life coach, I am here to come alongside you and keep you encouraged, accountable, always searching for your own voice and vision, and developing your own plan of action to get you where you want to be.

Many successful people today have life coaches.

"Personal growth is hot. Diagnosis is not. That is one reason America
has seen a boom in the number of people offering their services as
"life coaches." These guides give clients the confidence to get unstuck
— to change careers, repair relationships, or simply get their act together."
By Karen S. Peterson, USA TODAY

So, are you ready to get on the road to fulfilling your life’s purpose?

I am, and my purpose is to encourage and equip you to be the very best of yourself.

Love and Light,

Lori Carey
Life Coach
Soul Arts

Kids

My kids were being just terrible last weekend. They would not obey, they were disrepectful, they were just down right buttheads.

Sunday morning, as I was about to get into the shower, I asked them to please get ready quickly, because I had to speak first thing at church, and I could NOT be late. I suggested what they might wear and said I would do something with their hair.

They seemed to hear me. They are intelligent children.

Well, sure enough, 30 minutes later, as I came out into the living room dressed and ready to go -- expecting everyone else to be ready to go as well -- there they were.

In their pajamas.
On the sofa.
Watching SpongeBob.

I went directly to the kitchen counter where I grabbed a wooden spoon, turned on my heel, came right back to the sofa and spatted them quickly telling them as calmly as I could that it was time they learned to obey and think of others.

Then I said to my husband, "You deal with the little turds. I'm going to church!"

Then I left.

I prayed all the way to church that God would help me calm down and be in the right frame of mind to worship.

Just as I was finishing up my part in the beginning of the church service, I saw the three of them slinking into the back of the room. The girls looked like ragamuffins, with ratty hair and mismatched clothes. Jamie looked exhausted.

I grabbed my stuff and headed to sit with them in the back row as another song started. Caroline (9) came up to me and said, "Mom, I'm really sorry about how I acted last night and I'm sorry I didn't mind you this morning. I will be better."

Aw, my sweet little girl.

I hugged her and said that I appreciated that and that I accepted her apology. We were smiling and happy.

Then Eliza, my 5-year-old, said, "Mom, pretend like I said that."

My Latest Journal

This one I made for myself. It's a little bigger than the usual size. This one is 8x10". I think it will be a nice size for the collage journaling I like to do. And I love the Scrabble tiles!

LOOK! GREEN!

Just when I thought God had surely forsaken us folks out here in Montana, there they are: little tiny spears of bright green poking up through the dry, brown dirt.

Can you hear the chorus of Angels singing "Hallelujah!"?

Cure for Grumpiness

Some days I just have a bad attitude. You know what I'm talking about, right, those days when everyone seems to suck and nothing feels right. You just go through the motions and would rather go back to bed.

I have found the cure!

Take five minutes with a pen and paper and write down 10 things you are grateful for.

"You didn't have to shake it like you did, but you did, but you did. And I thank you." --ZZ Top

"Up from the grave He arose..."

Who Needs a Life Coach?

Here are some ideas of people who would benefit from a life coach:

1. People who are in a rut.
2. People who are bored with their jobs.
3. People who are bored with their lives.
4. Those newly divorced.
5. People recently laid off from their job.
6. People newly retired.
7. New moms.
8. Moms ready to go back into the work force.
9. Women who give so much to their families, they've forgotten
what they like and even who they are.
10. College students trying to figure out their major.
11. People struggling to make a big decision.
12. People needing to make many decisions.
13. People in search of their life partner.
14. Those looking to grow spiritually.
15. People who want to live their biggest and best lives.
16. People who need accountability.
17. Teens struggling with peer issues.
18. Parents trying to find balance between work and life.
19. Those who know they have more potential than they are living up to.
20. People who are unmotivated to do what they know they need to do.
21. Employees who wish to be more productive at work.
22. People who are frustrated.
23. People who are overwhelmed.
24. People who need a change but are afraid to make it.
25. People who could use a little encouragement.

Plane Crash E-Mail

I've been forwarded an e-mail from a few people that has made me sick to my stomach. You may have seen it. It is an article written by Gingi Edmonds for the Christian News Wire about the plane crash in Butte and about who happens to be a surviving family member of one of the families that was killed.

Okay, let me start from the beginning. A small plane crashed into a cemetery in Butte, Montana, last week killing 14 people...about half of them were young children. They were families going to Bozeman for a ski vacation. The cause of the crash hasn't been determined, although some speculate it was due to ice on the wings.

Anyway, Edmonds's article revealed that one of the families happened to be the children and grandchildren of a dentist from California who owns the largest for-profit abortion chain in our country. When word got out that the plane crashed near the "Tomb for the Unborn" in that Butte cemetery, some folks couldn't get over the coincidence. Scripture was quoted about what you get if you "do not hate bloodshed," etc.

The writer mentioned that she was not trying to turn it into an "I-told-you-so moment," but it sure came across that way to me.

I think my biggest pet peeve is when a few Christians make the rest of us look like a bunch of jerks. People, we are called to mourn with that family. Our hearts should be broken for their loss. We are absolutely not put here to judge others. Isn't it interesting that the article didn't mention what scripture says happens to those who judge?

And we wonder why the liberal left-wing folks think we are all hate mongers.

I think we need to take the planks out of our own asses!

What is Life Coaching?

I am so excited to share with you what I do, especially now that I have completed my certification and I'm officially a certified professional life coach!

Life Coaching can be described a few ways. Life Coaching helps a person:

- figure out what they're on this earth to do and then helps them do it.
- move from "stuck" thinking to "possibility" thinking.
- move on to the next chapter of their lives, despite fears and obstacles.
- make big decisions.
- make a life transition smoothly.

The list could go on and on, but hopefully you get the picture that life coaching is really for anyone. We are meant to be growing and moving forward in our lives, but so often we become stagnant because of fears or situations. A Life Coach has the tools to help you get moving in the right direction again!

A Life Coach is not a counselor. A Life Coach does not give advice. What I am here to do is help you discover your own answers, which are inside of you. I am here to be your cheerleader, encouraging you to reach your goals, holding you accountable for your actions, and equipping you to live your very best life!

When you come to to a life coaching session -- and many are done over the phone from anywhere -- you decide what will be discussed, what area of your life you choose to work on. A Life Coach keeps EVERYTHING completely confidential.

It is not an issue for a Life Coach to coach friends and family. The relationship is different in a coaching session, but it does not interfere with the relationship the exists otherwise. In fact, it can strengthen that existing relationship. I have coached my husband, and what has come out of those conversations is insight into how he thinks and why he does some of the things he does. My assumptions had been wrong and a few coaching sessions strenghtened our marriage, because I understand so much better now how he thinks.

Coaching is an amazing process that gets results.

My fees are incredibly affordable. I charge $135 per month, and that includes three sessions in that month with unlimited e-mail communication.

If you or anyone you know could use a boost in life, don't hesitate to call. My number is 406-461-2526, and my e-mail address is loricarey@bresnan.net.

Sincerely,

Lori Carey
Life Coach
SOUL ARTS -Be Real. Live Big.
406-461-2526

Long Time No Blog

I know, I've put the blog on the back burner lately. I had no idea how muchwork it was going to be to move into a new house. I'm wondering if all the boxes will ever be emptied and their contents put in a functional, sensible place. I'm just happy that one of us can park in the garage after this weekend...and thankfully it's me!

In other Soul Arts news: I will be finishing up a course in life coaching next weekend and will have an official certificate legitimizing my life-coaching practice. I'm so excited to take this next step toward my passion of helping women to live their biggest lives! Then I'll just need some legitimate clients.

Soul Arts will also be offering a spiritual journaling retreat for women this spring, and I'll be starting a journaling group soon that will likely meet weekly. I'll keep you posted.

A Steinbeck fan

I just finished reading John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath for the first time, and I am blown away at the author's poetic writing style and his depth and breadth of understanding of the human condition. What a beautiful work of art.

I had read Of Mice and Men and loved it, but for some reason I had never gotten around to Grapes. Steinbeck reveals the inner workings of a hard-working people who are close to the land. The mother in the story is an amazing testimony for the strength of woman during hard times. She never stops working and she knows the strengths and weaknesses of the men in her life. If she sees here husband is about to break with despair, she will purposely anger him to prevent the break. If she sees that he can no longer make decisions for the family, then she steps in to make them. She has the gift of keeping everything going, but not taking the glory for it, not stealing the pride of her husband.

Between the chapters that tell the story of the Joads' experience migrating west from the Dust bowl to California looking for work, Steinbeck fills in the gaps of the general mood and goings-on of the country in poetry. Only a poet can capture so much fact and feeling in so few words.

Happy Birthday Caroline!

We had Caroline's 9th birthday party at a local hotel. She invited her four closest friends for swimming, dinner, and a sleepover. They had a great time. Jamie and I (and Eliza) spent the night in the same hotel room. We were pretty pooped the next day.

These pics are terrible...I couldn't find my camera in all the chaos, so I used Caroline's, which is bad about red-eye. But maybe you can get the feel for the fun they had.

And now my little girl is 9 years old! Holy cow!

Caroline Grace

back row: Caroline and Emma, middle row: Brianne, Jaci and Megan, front row: Eliza

left to right: Brianne, Jaci, Megan, Caroline, Emma and Eliza (the little sister)

time for bed: Caroline, Megan, Brianne, Emma

Mexico

Accepting Acceptance

I'm reading a great book right now called "Uncommon Woman," by Susie Larson. She explains how to accept acceptance.

"Accepting acceptance means having the courage to face your foibles without it diminishing your value. Accepting acceptance means refusing to let others define you, because God already has...We understand who we are by knowing whose we are."

I don't know about you, but looking my foibles makes me feel more insecure. What others think matters entirely too much. What does it take to know in every cell of your being that you are loved, called, accepted, chosen, cherished, and forgiven? What would your life look like if you could be in constant awareness of this truth?

Mine would include a lot less worrying. I would beat myself up much less. I'd just flush guilt and fear right down the toilet. I'd probably dance more.

Balancing Act

I spend an awful lot of time trying to find balance.

As a wife, mother, writer, artist, and employee, I struggle to find how much time to give to each of these roles without anything or anyone suffering.

Many churchy legalists would say that my roles as mother and wife should be the only things I spend time doing. I used to listen to that well-intentioned advice and found myself digging into depression. How can you give anything if you are empty? It didn't work for me. Other people's self-imposed rules never do.

Another balance I strive for is also a common one. When I think about what I want for my future, I begin to wonder what parts of my dreams are ego-driven and what parts are the desires of my heart that God has put there. What to surrender, and what to go for and make happen. Just because God's in control doesn't mean He wants us to sit on our backsides and wait for miracles.

I heard a woman say recently: "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans."

I sniggered at it because it's true to a point. Then I thought about how He tells us to pray for what we want and believe that it has been given to us and it will be ours (in Mark). He also tells us to bring everything to Him through prayer and petition (in Phillippians). I believe our words are powerful. I believe we often get what we speak -- good or bad.

I know. I think too much. I've been called "intense" by more than a few people. But heck, He made me that way. And I have big dreams. And I don't want to get in God's way if He has other plans.

Although patience is not one of my gifts, in an effort to maintain balance, I'm just going to try to take this life one step at a time. And hey, today is fabulous!

We Want the Funk

We just got back from Mexico after a great week of R & R. Then we came back to below zero temps. I felt the need for some funk to warm me up, and I found this fabulous video.
Check it out!
here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkfOi3yGNR0

Expect or Hope?

Do you know the difference between expecting and hoping?

Expecting is attempting or wishing to control. It often ends with disappointment.

Expectation leads to judgment.

Hoping is putting your wish out there. Hope is a prayer. A release. A recognition that you are not in control.

Hope leads to acceptance.

Spiritual Direction/Life Coaching

I'm going to visit with my spiritual director today. His name is Tom King, and he lives in Missoula. He and his wife were two of the people who started the Good Food Store there several years ago. He's very cool, and I'm pretty sure he's an angel.

I only learned what a spiritual director is a few months ago. He or she is a person who listens and helps you discern what God is doing in your life and prays with you accordingly.

I have considered becoming a spiritual director myself. Either that or a life coach. I've read dozens of books on the subjects. I'm sure I could considered myself qualified for the job, since I have been studying the subject of life coaching for years.

A life coach is a person who helps you to get "unstuck" in your life. She helps you to figure out your potential and your goals, and then helps you to get on the path toward them.

I feel like that is my gift. I love to encourage people. It is my passion. To help women discover their potential and live their biggest, most authentic lives.

I also have an interest in creative expression. I believe that an outpouring of our own creativity can tell us so much about ourselves. In the appropriate circumstance, I would employ creative expression with a coaching client to help her tap into her gifts and longings and fears. It works. I've done it. In fact, I do it.

My practice is called Soul Arts. So what would I call myself? A Creative, Spiritual Life Coach?

Well, whatever you want to call me, I'm taking appointments! If you feel like you need encouragement or if you feel "stuck" in your life, give me a call.

Say You Want a Resolutio-on...

I'm finished with making resolutions each year that are no fun at all. I've tried to exercise more, save more money, eat more healthfully, blah, blah, blah...

This year I'm going to make a change that is worth the effort! This year I resolve to spend every Friday possible making art in my studio.

That's right, today was the first Friday of the new year; and it was heavenly!

I encourage you to do something similar. Make a promise to yourself to do something especially for you. Do something weekly that fills you up. It is not a selfish thing. It is only when you are full that you have something to give.